


Puella Magi Dib Magica

by Ultimate_Nerd_Lady



Category: Invader Zim, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Dib becomes Meguca, Eventual ZaDf, Gen, Kyuubey tells Zim he’s defective asmr, fuck Kyuubey. All my homies hate kyuubey., slowly realizing you made a deal with the devil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25769674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimate_Nerd_Lady/pseuds/Ultimate_Nerd_Lady
Summary: Dib always disliked the notion of “Be careful what you wish for”. It just sounded like a way to keep you from wanting anything better than what you had. But maybe those people weren’t talking about what it meant to have that wish granted. Perhaps it meant how little that miracle would mean in the end.Maybe it meant how much you had to pay to have it granted.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

To Dib, if it was a mystery, he’d dive headfirst into it, not resting until he had an answer. It didn’t matter how much danger it posed, or what amount of mystery lay under it, he’d go for it.

That’s how he uncovered the alien invader Zim, and how he put a stop to his nefarious deeds constantly. His insistence saved the world.

This was a very thankless task however. He’d heard all the labels. “Crazy.” “Weirdo.” Even “My poor insane son.” He could deal with it of course, he was saving the world, who had time to worry about what people were calling him? But he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t discouraging.  
  


Still, his boundless curiosity couldn’t be quenched. He broke off from his sister one morning, running into an alley on their walk to school in pursuit of a white vision he caught in the corner of his eye.

“I just know I saw something…” Dib muttered hoisting the straps of his backpack and looking around “It has to be here! It’s…”

“Hello Dib Membrane.”

“Gaugh!” Dib fell on his butt at the sudden voice, eyes darting all around until he noticed… something.

At first glance it looked like a cat. A pure shade of white, cute kitten ears and a smile plastered on its face. But then you noticed extra appendages sticking out of the ears, which were frosted pink at the tips and surrounded by golden rings. It blinked twice, then spoke, its mouth not moving in the slightest.

“My name is Kyuubey.” The creature said “I was hoping you’d do me a favor.”

“... Uh…” Dib began doing his best to look dignified, standing up to look down at the strange thing and noticing a mark on its back “Who... are you?”

“I just told you. My name is Kyuubey. I want you to make a contract with me, and become a magical boy!”

“That doesn’t answer anything! Like first of all, what is a magical boy?”

“To become a magical boy means to fight witches and spread hope!”

“Witches…?”

“Witches are beings born from curses. They spread despair and anger in people and can even cause people to take their own lives! As a magical boy, you’ll be granted the power to fight these horrible creatures! And you’ll get something in exchange for making the contract.”

Dib ran over the details in his mind. Evil creatures called witches, beat them up, and presumable magic powers. From there he could deduce this Kyuubey was some kind of magical creature. He’d heard of his ilk before.

“What’s this something in exchange?” He asked with some healthy suspicions of this whole ordeal.

“I will grant you any wish.” Kyuubey replied “Anything you desire, I can give to you with my powers.”

Oh. That was interesting. He wasn’t sure if he trusted him but…

“I mean…” he bent down “There’s something I don’t think you’ll even believe me enough to grant. See I’m a-“

“Paranormal investigator?” Kyuubey finished “Yes I’ve been following you. You’re also a very good one from what I can tell.”

Just like that, the wall of distrust was shattered and Dib looked at him with big eyes.

“You believe me?”

“Of course. Someone who doesn’t let beliefs of what is and isn’t real cloud their judgement of logical findings is pretty admirable.”

“Ha. Yeah it is pretty cool isn’t it?” He stood up “Man I’ll have to show you to dad!”

“Oh, he won’t be able to see me.” Kyuubey said “Only people with the potential.”

“Oh.” His smile fell “Well…” a wish was formulating in his mind “You can still help me.”

“So, you’re willing to contract?” He said hopefully.

“I mean… I still have questions.” He began pacing back and forth “You can grant any wish? How does that work?”

“It’s sort of an unexplained phenomenon.” He answered.

“But you’re the one granting it!” His curiosity piqued enough for him to stop his pace to put his full attention on his conversation partner. “How can you not know?”

“I apologize for the lack of explanation. I’m providing it the best I can.” Kyuubey said “How it goes is that I grant you a wish. Any wish you desire. In exchange, you will have to fight witches. Those are the rules of the contract.”

“So that’s how it is…” he sighed “Well I don’t mind fighting witches.”

He really didn’t. He already had savior of the human race on his schedule, so how hard could fighting these witches be? The powers he’d be granted could easily turn the tide against Zim. Hell if he could have his wish granted he wouldn’t need the powers to make an impact.

“Okay. I don’t need some huge explanation. I’ll do it.”

“So then. What is the wish that will make your soul gem shine?” Kyuubey asked his expression not changing in the slightest.

“I want people to believe me when I tell them things. About the paranormal. About the weird cryptids and ghosts I see. About… about Zim.”

Suddenly, his chest felt like it was being torn apart from the inside. There was some sort of struggle within, a struggle that -from the pain coursing through his body- was most likely a futile one. He let out a scream, and fell to his knees, clutching at the area where the pain was most intense, when he felt something brush against his fingers. 

He opened his eyes, previously squinted shut in his agony, and looked up to see a blue light emerging from his body. It looked ethereal, like a remnant of a ghost… but so much more alive and full of purpose. He was so entranced he forgot the pain he was in entirely.

“Your contract has overcome entropy.” Kyuubey declared “Take it. It’s your destiny.”

Dib reached up and clasped the blue aura in his hands and everything went black. When he woke up he was still lying in the alley, Kyuubey standing over him. He began wondering if he had just hallucinated the last few minutes he could remember but then he realized he felt something in his hand. He looked down at it and saw the blue light he took with his own hands, enclosed within a casing that made it look like a jewel.

“Congratulations Dib Membrane.” Kyuubey said to him “You’re a magical boy.”


	2. Chapter 2

The Dib-monkey was late for classes. Zim put his chin in his hand with an impatient foot tapping. So his mortal enemy thought he could delay his entrance when he, irken invader Zim, was waiting wasn’t he? His eyes were fixed on the door waiting for that miserable wretch to come… the day had started so normal and mundane, that he never could have anticipated what came through the door before the Dib-stink did. 

A small white creature, akin to what humans call a cat, yet had two extra ears coming out of the ears it had, golden hoops surrounding them strolled into the room. He’d seen this creature many times before but here? On earth? 

Why was there an incubator on earth?

He was so engrossed in seeing the incubator, Dib's entrance almost felt secondary. Almost.

“Dib stink!” He sprung from his desk pointing at him “What is the meaning of this?!”

Dib just responded with a confident smirk and Zim noticed the ring on his finger. It couldn’t be…

“Wouldn’t you like to know, space boy?”

Zim was about to respond with an insult to humiliate the wretched worm, but then he heard the other children voice sentiments.

“Actually… he does look like an alien.”

“Yeah… how could I not see it before?”

“Hey, now that you mention it…” 

Zim looked around in horror. How was this happening? He noticed even Dib looked taken aback until his smile grew to take up his entire face in sadistic glee. Zim looked to the incubator, piecing together what had happened. His first instinct was to run, and as it would have it, he usually followed in his first instincts so run he did. But he could hear that wretched dirt boy from the classroom.

“See? He’s running! Who does that when they’re not hiding something?”

What was going to happen now? His precious mission was at stake, his enemy had used incubator technology to get the upper hand…

He skidded to a stop in the hallway, and glared punching the wall. That little cheating incubator! So they were on earth now? HIS territory to destroy? Incubators had a treaty not to touch any planet the Irkens were planning to conquer!

His eyes went to the bathroom, and he ducked in fast as possible while pulling a communicator from his PAK.

“My tallest! Pick up!”

He was greeted by the face of his tallest and before there was a chance to get in a word edgewise, he began launching into his explanation.

“My tallest! The incubators have been nesting on planet earth!”

“That’s great Zim-“

“No it’s not great! They should not be on a planet we set out to take conquest of! And furthermore… my enemy has contracted.”

“Who?” Purple asked.

“The Dib-human! He’s used his wish to blow my cover and-“

He gasped when he felt a presence and turned to see an incubator behind him.

“So you’re the defective Invader Zim.” It said in a monotone voice “I expected a being of such massive destruction to be less… pathetic seeming.”

He heard his tallest crack up behind him.

“You talk lies and dookie brained insults!” Zim hissed “Now, change the Dib stink back!”

“Unfortunately, such a thing is beyond my power.” It said simply “Not to mention I think getting rid of the Irken empire's most infamous defective would inspire goodwill between us for the future.”

“Well, this should be interesting.” Red said.

“My tallest! Requesting back-up!”

The incubator looked past him at the screen. “Seeing how you’re the leaders of this operation, I’ll say this is your call.”

“Go ahead.” Red said.

“Psh! They’d never side with you!” Zim shouted “That you would even think that is-“

Then the bathroom door opened and people were piling in.

“Hey… that guy looks like an alien-“

“He does doesn’t he?”

“Who are those guys he’s talking to-“

Zim knew sticking around was a recipe to get caught. He extended his PAK legs, getting the skoolchildren to back up, and crawled out, until he found the nearest exit to the skool and skittered out. The base wasn’t a good place to go- they’d be looking for him there- he had to contact Gir- Wait he left the communicator in the bathroom! 

“Grrr…. stupid useless Dib-pig!” He pounded his fist against the tree. Then he rested his head against it. He’d have to find a way to reverse the magic. The base was the best option for that, so he decided to chance it.

“So the incubator thinks he has the honor of taking down my worst enemy.” He glared “We will see about that!”


	3. Chapter 3

Skool ended early because of the huge commotion. Dib had started to go home with Gaz, but Kyuubey had pestered him about magical boy duties of hunting witches.

“It is your duty now. And we don’t have time for hunting down your pet project.”

What did he mean ‘pet project?’ Zim was why he made the wish! Kyuubey seemed to know just the right words to shut down the arguments he made though so he just sucked it up.

When he heard the words “Witch” and “familiars” and “witches' labyrinth” he didn’t picture… this. The world spun so much, and made such a strange epileptic picture that he ended up throwing up a little onto what he supposed was the ground of the place. He did manage to outmaneuver the familiars though- time gone by of doing the same with Zim helped prepared him, as well as years of camera work doing the same. The camera was a weird weapon. If you took a picture the enemy slowly fell apart- it didn’t look like it experienced pain- and retched from the flash. That was usually a way to come in and hit for the kill. He continued the process and tried to make the best strides in hunting through the maze without taking damage. But even getting hit wasn’t as much of an impact as he was used to. Either these things were super weak or this form was super strong.

“You’re not bad for a first time rookie, Dib.” Kyuubey told him as he ran alongside him “But if I were to critique your fighting skills, I’d say you’re using too much magic.” 

“So what?” He asked but in all honesty he was feeling a little more sluggish. He’d NEVER get tired this quick when fighting Zim. Although the dress he wore might be restricting him. It was a dark blue shade with a bow and lighter blue stripes on the skirt along with a small cartoon ghost, and poofy sleeves with the shirt covered in stitches down the front. And the jewel created from his contract, that Kyuubey called a soul gem, was shaped like a star, and positioned on his head (“it’ll be hard to hit a small target on a large space” Kyuubey had remarked. Like the rest of his head getting hit wasn’t a problem.)

He had made it to the center of the labyrinth where the witch was waiting, and what an ugly sight to behold. It looked like a wolf, but it’s canines were far too big for its head, the rest of the face getting lost in it, but not enough for two red x’s that served as eyes to not be seen. And it’s legs… they looked like a mish mash of random objects stacked on top of each other instead of legs.

“That’s the witch?!”

“You can fight it, can’t you?”

“What? Yeah! Of course!”

“Then hurry up then. We don’t have all day.”

The pushy attitude reminded Dib of someone… but he couldn’t place who. But he snapped a picture of the witch and went in to try and kick it. It wasn’t as lax as the familiars however. It’s jaw unhinged and Dib gasped and got out of the way snapping another picture, then another. It retched and retched but it seemed to be fighting through it. The defensive stance wasn’t working. So Dib switched to offense. He aimed a kick at the beast, and sent it flying against the wall. That split in in half and for a moment Dib thought he won, but the stacks that made up its legs writhed and twisted stitching up the abomination. Dib had to finish this quick. He focused on the camera, letting it power up and then…

_ Snap _ !

The flash was blinding but when it cleared, The witch was gone. Wait no, there was something on the ground. He stood his ground waiting for it to attack but it didn’t, and the walls of the labyrinth were fading into what looked like a normal back alley.

“You did it Dib!”

Kyuubey ran forward to the small object and nudged his head towards it. “Now collect your reward.”

“Reward?” Dib walked forward turning back to civilian form. “What is it?”

“A grief seed. They’re witches eggs.”

“Witches eggs?!” Don’t tell him he was gonna have to do that again.

“Yes, but it’s quite useful. Look at your soul gem.”

Dib took out his soul gem and gasped. It was no longer a pristine azure, but a muddied blue.

“See? That’s what happens when you use too much magic. It depletes and your gem becomes tainted. But take the grief seed and hold it to your soul gem.”

Dib complied and watched as the darkness from his soul gem seemed to gather up and leave it, making it a bright beautiful color again, and making the grief seed turn black.

“That was a really good grief seed!” Kyuubey said “You should hand it to me now though. It’s dangerous.”

“What are you gonna do with it?” Dib questioned.

“You’ll see.” 

Dib didn’t like that answer but he disliked the idea of leaving the witches egg unattended even more. So he handed it to Kyuubey who propped it up on his head, and then navigated it to his back which opened up like a compartment slot, then closed when the grief seed entered.

“What the…” Dib backed up “Hey, what are you really?”

“I’m the one dutied with creating magical girls, to save us all!”

“Yeah but what are you?!”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.” Kyuubey answered.

“You have to come from somewhere don’t you?”

“Yes. I came from people who wanted to do goodwill and charity to all of the universe through magical girls.”

“But who are they?”

“I just explained.”

“No you didn’t! You’re dancing around the topic!”

“I’m not engaged in dancing though.” Kyuubey tilted his head “Your line of questioning confuses me.”

Dib groaned. He wasn’t getting any straight answers out of Kyuubey. That meant one thing.

“Alright whatever. I’m going home. Gaz is probably worried sick about me.”

“Then allow me to follow.” Kyuubey said “I think Gazlene might be a possible magical girl as well.”

Well, that was that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where were you?” Gaz, spoke up the second Dib entered like an ominous voice in the walls that knew his every move “What the hell happened today?

“It’s a long story…” Dib sighed while Kyuubey hopped off his shoulder and acknowledged Gaz with a nod.

“Hello Gazlene Membrane. I’m Kyuubey.”

Gaz opened an eye at the strange creature, her gaze then drifting to Dib.

“I’ll explain over dinner.” He promised.

Foodio had made a standard family meal for the two of them. But the robot didn’t seem to notice Kyuubey.

“Only people worthy of becoming magical girls can see me.” Kyuubey explained.

“This whole magical girl business sounds shady.” Gaz said picking up her fork “Dib, you’re not buying into this stuff are you?”

“Well…” Dib showed off his ring that glowed and became his soul gem.

“Ugh… Dib…” she rubbed her temples.

“You have the ability to become one too if you so desire.” Kyuubey offered.

“No thanks.” Gaz said “Dib, this guy is asking you to risk your life.”

“I do that against Zim all the time.”

“Zim isn’t a real threat.” She reminded him.

“I knew you wouldn’t get it.” Dib shook his head “And besides. He can grant any wish.”

Gaz rolled her eyes shoveling food into her mouth. If he wanted to make a wish, it didn’t seem like he made it something important like dad coming home once in a while. “What did you wish for then?”

“I wished for people to believe me.”

Gaz put her fork down to glare at Dib. Of course he’d throw everything into that stupid whim.

“Stupid. By the end of next week you’ll be asking him to turn you back.” She said.

“That’s great Gaz but I have work to do.” Dib finished his food and left leaving Gaz to sigh and wonder how long until she heard the inevitable ‘You were right.’ Probably never, but he’d come crawling eventually.

“It’s actually impossible to turn anyone back from being a magical girl.” Kyuubey said. Gaz’s fork paused hovering in the air.

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s beyond my power to do so. Once your wish is granted then there’s no going back.” Kyuubey said.

“... That’s bullshit. Dib always finds a way.”

“Well there is one way…” Kyuubey said.

“What’s that?”

“If you wish for it, and become a magical girl in his stead!”

Gaz felt her seat collapse from under her as she stood gasping. The creature just looked up at her emotionlessly.

“Why you little…” Gaz jabbed her fork into him, multiple times, a repeated stabbing that she pinned the creature by the tail to keep him from escaping and kept plunging until it was a bloody pulp. She then dropped the fork and steadied herself against the table breathing heavily. It was fine, she convinced herself. Once Dib realized this was a raw deal they’d be breaking into dad's lab to find some way to free him of his duties. It was fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dib set up a conspiracy board in his room. “Witches and Kyuubey. Where are they from?”

He perused the internet for magical girl information but it mostly bought up anime and manga with cutesy characters. Still, determination carried him through the night until he woke up on his keyboard noting a long string of y’s that had made themselves onto the screen. And a puddle of drool on the keyboard. He rubbed his eyes yawning and looking at the board. A nights worth of effort didn’t seem to yield any results.

“DIB! SKOOL!”

He jolted and looked through his things. Darn it. He overslept.

“Coming!” He grabbed his backpack, and double checked his belongings before viewing the ring on his hand. He smiled. Today when he walked into skool, things would be different.

“DIB!”

“Okay I’ll be right down!” He closed his fist and ran downstairs, where Gaz was waiting and motioned her head towards the door.

“Let’s go.” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” He opened the door, and noticed Kyuubey waiting outside. “Oh. Kyuubey.”

“Hi! I hope you don’t mind me accompanying you.”

“Is’ fine.” Dib yawned and stretched his arms “Lets go.”

He strolled out but paused when Gaz didn’t follow. He looked back to see her staring at Kyuubey wide eyed. 

“Gaz? Aren’t you coming?”

“Yes. You were the one insisting he come downstairs.” Kyuubey added.

Gaz shook her head before returning to her neutral expression. “Fine. Whatever.”

Kyuubey made a satisfied noise and scurried up to Dibs shoulder.

“Good. Let’s go to the skool shall we?”

Dib walked along with Gaz, mostly in silence, when he noticed his soul gem reacting.

“Oops!” He took it out of its ring form and clasped it between two fingers. “There’s a witch around here. Sorry Gaz. Can I catch up with you later?”

She looked on in silence for a moment, fixing her gaze on Kyuubey.

“Don’t get yourself killed.” She said flatly, and walked off.


	4. Chapter 4

“Okay. I sense the magic around here…” he made his way into the forest near the house, feeling his soul gem react and Kyuubey piped up behind him.

“The magic here isn’t strong enough to be a witch. I think it’s a familiar. They don’t drop grief seeds.”

“Well I still have to deal with it…” his soul gem began lighting up with reaction and he opened the labyrinth, a world of vibrant checker boards and game pieces and he noticed a creature shaped like a chess pawn in the middle. It was easy. Transform. 

Kill it. 

Done. 

He smiled as the labyrinth faded away.

“Another job done thanks to me.” He figured he was entitled to a little self-congratulatory feelings.

“Very impressive Dib-smell.”

Oh fudge. Zim. He turned to him preparing his camera but Zim had experience in this department, knocking it out of his hand with his PAK legs.

“Why you ugly space monster!” He growled “Did you set up this witch just to trap me?”

“I did lure the familiar here for your attention, but not for any ‘trapping’ purposes.” Zim said “I want to tell you that you’re messing with things you shouldn’t. If you’re smart you’ll use that massive head of yours to undo the spell cast upon you.”

“I’m not falling for that.” Dib glowered “You’re just mad because you’re losing!”

“I know of that creature Dib! I know all about how it works.”

“Then you should know that we came to this planet as saviors.” Kyuubey remarked.

“Wha-“ Dib did a double take. “Kyuubey… you’re an alien?”

“I can tell you all about that creature Dib! It-“

“We are simply trying to accomplish the goal of preserving lives, currently on this planet where the witches are residing.”

“He lies!” Zim screamed.

“... Yeah right.” Dib would sort out the details later. Right now he was jumping to Kyuubeys defense. “Like I’m gonna believe the person from a race of evil dictator aliens over the ones trying to help fight witches!”

“Do you know where the witches are from?!”

“Yeah. Grief seeds.”

“Well not only grief seeds.” Kyuubey piped up “There’s also familiars growing into witches if they’re left alone. And like how Magical Girls sprout from wishes, witches are from curses.”

“Wanna tell him about those curses?!” Zim shouted.

“Oh my… your anger is making you irrational.” Kyuubey sighed.

“Graugh… you-“

This was going nowhere. But Dib spotted a hiker in the woods.

“Ugh… what happened.” 

Recovering from the familiars magic. He could use this.

“Hey!” He shouted turning back to his civilian outfit “There’s an alien here!”

“Huh?” The man looked over and recoiled “Yeesh. That is definitely an alien. Should we call someone?”

“Yeah… I think we should…” Dib smirked at Zim while the alien recoiled at the man taking out a phone.

“Why you… Dib!” Zim took out a PAK leg and ran towards Dib, and Dib had no time to react before the metallic appendage pierced his abdomen and went through the other side. Dib gasped and coughed up blood, surprised at how the alien pulled a maneuver he never had before. He looked at Zim, somehow feeling absolute vigor despite the stabbing, but Zim reacted by knocking him over and running off.

“Get back here-“

“No Dib! You won’t catch him in your condition. Just fix yourself with magic.”

“No way…” the stab wound felt like a minor inconvenience “He’s a menace… I already let him get away once!”

Kyuubey sighed.

“If it’s that much of a problem, I’ll go after him. Just heal, Dib.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Who are you talking to?” The hiker asked holding the phone to look at him.

“... Fine.” He sighed. He didn’t wanna keep having a conversation with the air in front of this guy. He’d look crazy. “Go.”

Kyuubey ran off and Dib looked to the hiker.

“Please help.”

“Sorry kid. I’m busy talking right now.”

Yeesh, he just exposed an alien menace to him and he wasn’t getting a thank you? Whatever. He took out his soul gem and proceeded to heal his wounds. It took a long time. Apparently, according to Kyuubey at least, some wishes helped heal faster but this was a long time project with him. It didn’t take long for him to manage to get up and walk, despite the wound being nowhere near closed, and he just spent the rest of the trip to skool healing. After a while he couldn’t even feel any pain.

“Sorry I’m late Ms. Bitters.” He smiled coming in “I-“

“Dib! You’re 30 minutes late.” Ms Bitters growled “Explain yourself!”

“I saw Zim! And you know how he’s an alien! So I had to catch him.” He said proudly. Maybe this would make the day a little better.

“That’s no excuse! One more tardy and it’s straight to the underground classrooms!”

He gulped. So much for his excuses working now. He made his way to his desk, still trying to heal his wound. His eyes drifted over to Zims desk where nobody was. Right. He’d kinda chased him out. So he was going to have to stop looking over at the desk now.

“Ugh, his obsession with hunting Zim is so weird.” He heard Zita say.

“Hey, didn’t you agree with me he was an alien yesterday?!”

“Yeah, but chasing that stuff is so creepy.”

“I’m trying to save earth!”

“Nobody cares what you’re doing.”

Dib sighed and sunk into his desk chair. He supposed even if people believed him they still weren’t nice to him.

That last sentence immediately locked in his mind. No. No that couldn’t be.

He looked at his ring rubbing it with his pointer finger on the other hand. Class passed by at a snails pace yet the usual depressing lessons flew past his ears and didn’t process. It was at recess he sat down instead of playing or running to chase anyone.

_ Nobody cares what you’re doing. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zim made it to his base, slamming the door. Gir was curled up on the couch drawing something.

“Gir! Listen to me! We have a situation! Come with me and-“

“SHHHHHHHHH!” Gir put a metallic finger to his masters lips then held up a drawing. It was incomprehensible, but the grotesquely massive size of the head suggested it was Dib. “I drew him cause last time he was over he shared his cookies with me!”

Zim seethed looking at the poor rendering of the Dib for a few moments, then snatched the drawing, ripping it to atoms.

“That weasel pig doesn’t deserve any drawings! He’s disgusting, and terrible!”

“But… my big head…” Gir reached out and started sobbing “MY MARY DRAWING! NOOOOOOOOO-“

“Forget about the Dib-weasel! I swear when I next see that loathsome boy, I’ll rip him, LIMB FROM-“

“Oh my. It looks like I came at a bad time.”

Why that- Zim turned around and growled at the filthy energy collector behind him.

“Incubator.”

“Yes. I’m here to tell you that I’d rather you didn’t try to tell my contractors the details I’ve omitted. Dib Membrane is clearly the type of person who won’t keep his mouth shut about all this and with the wish he made… well, you can see how that’s a problem for me can you?”

“Why you slimy toad! How dare you try to order Zim around?!”

“I’m confused… if anything leaving this alone should be beneficial for you. If you keep going after Dib Membrane he’ll just keep calling more attention to you. You two clearly have a competitive relationship so having him out of the way will help you more than anything. Not only that, but we’re helping collect the energy to keep planets like Irk stable. We have no reason to fight each other.”

“Do you want a fight? I’ll give you a fight.” Zim extended his PAK legs. The incubator just stared up at him for a moment, his face not twitching or changing in the slightest before he spoke.

“I see. You actually care about his well-being don’t you?”

… What?

“No! That’s ridiculous!” He screamed “How dare you suggest that?!”

“But it’s the only explanation that makes sense.” Incubator said “You have no reason to try and suggest help for Dib Membrane other than personal attachments.”

The creature said it confidently and with pride. Zim couldn’t stand it.

“LISTEN HERE YOU INFERNAL RAT! ZIM CARES ABOUT NOBODY! NOBOD-“

“Then, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you go after him?”

All of a sudden, Zim felt everything shut down. He had no rebuttal. Nothing was happening in his head to suggest another reason- but… why-

“Oh my goodness.” The incubator shook his head “I thought the reason you were defective was just untold destruction to your own kind, but now I see why I found you so underwhelming.”

“Stop talking.” He poised his PAK legs to strike.

“With these emotional attachments, your irrational thinking because of them, even your threats made in anger when you know I can’t be killed like that… you are-“

“QUIET!”

Zim fired lasers, sending the incubator flying across the room and into the tv with a massive hole in his head.

“I’m not defective…” He muttered “The tallest gave me an important mission. And I don’t… I don’t…”

He sunk to his knees trying to fend off the oncoming liquid in his eyes. He believed the humans referred to them as “tears”.

“Aw… what’s wrong Master?”

“Leave me alone Gir.”

The robot didn’t listen of course- the day he ever did that would be an irken landmark in history- and patted Zim on the head leaning into him. Zim didn’t tell him to stop. Just made up several excuses in his head for the talk he just had.


	5. Chapter 5

“Another spare wasted…” Kyuubey sighed “I’ll go and collect it later when the irken isn’t around. For now I have to check in on other magical girls.”

He went off spending the day with multiple magical girls and later managed to track down Dib Membrane, doing a few test runs of his powers behind a run down gym.

“You know you’re meant to be hunting witches with those powers right? Not using them on the witches is just wasting magic.”

“If I don’t learn how to use these properly, I’ll just be in danger when I’m in the labyrinths.” He reasoned “And I can’t rescue anyone if I’m dead.”

“Well, your reasoning is sound enough that I can’t completely want to dissuade you.” He approved “Just be aware. Low magic isn’t good for you.”

“Alright, alright.” He shooed “Just let me concentrate.”

Kyuubey watched him make several grunting noises trying to summon his magic.

“Your wish was for other people to see what you say as true. So, you’ve been granted the power to see past barriers that might be set in front of you and look to what’s inside.”

“Yeah you already said that!”

“So… try concentrating on those feelings of wanting others to see the truth and channel them into yourself. It’ll come to you.”

Dib sighed as another attempt fell flacid and closed his eyes.

“Channel it into myself… channel it… into myself.”

He opened his eyes up, the irises in now glowing the same blue as his soul gem did. Then his face twisted into horror.

“Oh god! That’s the girls locker room!” He covered his eyes with his hands before making a frustrated noise because obviously he would see right through them. “How do I turn it off, how do I turn it off?!”

“Oh goodness…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Kyuubey taught Dib to turn off his powers, they picked a better place to people watch and use his powers, a small bridge above downtown. Dib noticed small lights blinking in each person who passed. It looked like stars. Not the cutesy star shapes on his magical boy uniform… shining and glittering stars all in different colors. He’d seen enough of space from Tak's ship to grow numb to it, but all the colors he saw, really gave it new life.

“Okay, I think that’s enough practice.” Kyuubey said “Can you hunt witches now?”

“Fine.” Dib began to switch off his vision, but then he noticed something. A man walking by, whoseneck was tethered to something. Dib noticed him walking… and started climbing the guard rails for the bridge.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” He switched off his vision and ran for him “What are you doing?!”

“Dib! His neck!” 

Dib looked at the mans neck noticing a ribbon marking on it. He turned on his magic and looked to see where the labyrinth was.

“Okay… can you stay here while I kill the witch trying to make you commit suicide?” He asked nicely. The man responded by hitting him.

“Knock him out!” Kyuubey shouted “Use your powers!”

“Okay! Uh…” he tried to think of a spot to punch the guy hard enough to knock him out but not hard enough to cause lasting damage. He settled on an uppercut to the chin, which sent the man flying backwards and landing on his backside.

“Eugh…” Dib said “Okay. The hard part is over.” He checked the tether, and followed it, right to the witches labyrinth, a house of mirrors.

“Alright time to-“

He paused when he saw his reflection.

It didn’t have a star.


	6. Chapter 6

Gaz watched Dib come home with Kyuubey and uncharacteristically collapse on the couch, holding a black charm up to his weird gem that made it look a lot brighter than before. All of a sudden all his energy seemed to be back as he tossed the charm to Kyuubey and turned on Mysterious Mysteries.

“... How was skool today?” Gaz asked.

Dib deflated.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Gaz looked at Kyuubey, cheerfully cuddling into Dibs lap. Gaz had no idea how she was gonna get that thing alone when it was curled up with Dib. Even Dib looked less than thrilled with that thing. Kyuubey did jump off his lap however at the most unexpected moment.

“Hello children!” Their dad walked through the door “The Professor Membrane is here!”

“Dad?!” Dib stood up “You’re home?!”

Now was her chance. Gaz waited for Kyuubey to run by, then grabbed him by the tail and made a break for the kitchen before a sound could be made.

“How are you alive?!” She shouted “You can’t just…” 

She looked over to the table where the pulpy body from last night still remained. Kyuubey wrestled free and went to the remains and then… he started eating them. In a matter of seconds, the mess was clean and Kyuubey let out a dainty burp.

“Excuse me.”

Gaz looked at the small creature in horror, and stormed up to him.

“How. Are you. Alive.”

“I have many spare bodies. Plenty more than you could spend an entire lifetime killing. But I’d also prefer if you didn’t do that. I hate wasting them.” He sighed “So have you considered my offer to become a magical girl?”

“No. I want you to change Dib back.”

“Beyond my power.”

“Find a way.”

“I have no reason to do that.”

Gaz did her best to intimidate the small creature, baring her teeth, opening an eye and letting her rage show on her face tenfold to let this rat know she was not to be trifled with. The creature just stared back, unaffected, scratching his ear.

“If you don’t change him back, I’ll make you regret it.” She growled at him.

“With what? I just told you it’s impossible to kill me didn’t I?”

“Don’t underestimate me! Every day you live, I will make it hell for you. Until Dib is safe, I will find whatever copies of you I can and give them a death so painful, you’d wish it was possible to die instead of living having experienced that pain! You’ll wish you never started trying to make your magical girls because it only bought you this ceaseless, unending torment!”

“That’s a hefty threat… but it’s still impossible to do.” Kyuubey said “Sorry. But there is-“

“I’m not gonna be a stupid magical girl!” She shouted “What’s wrong with you?!”

“I can’t answer that question. I’ve tried understanding you humans, but it’s quite impossible for me.” He sighed “Sorry.”

The creature jumped down and strolled to the living room.

“Furthermore, why take away from your brother something that has granted him this?”

Gaz wanted to ask what he meant, but the slippery bastard ran away and she followed him, to see… dad and Dib hugging. Actually hugging. Tears were streaming down Dibs face.

“It was wrong for me to call you insane son. I’m beginning to realize your parascience is quite real.”

“Thank you… thank you so much…”

Gaz felt her fists clench at her side. She’d never seen Dib look this happy. He had his head in their dads coat making a big stain on the thing of snot and tears.

“Gazlene! Come here!” Dad shouted “This is a family hug! And I have 20 minutes before I have to go for a meeting.”

Gaz looked at Kyuubey. For someone who had the same expression on its face all the time, he sure looked smug right now. But she looked at dad… and her fists unclenched.

“Sure.”

She went over and hugged her dad for the first time since she could remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dib was feeling pretty comfortable in bed. He hadn’t felt this good in… man he had never felt this good. He held his hand with the ring up smiling at it. He was a magical boy. He was a hero. He was dad's son, not his crazy son, not the poor insane boy, he was just his son!

But he couldn’t get too comfortable under the covers. Once he was certain Gaz was asleep, he hopped out, and went down to dads lab, looking through file cabinets. He finally managed to track down what he was looking for. Study of the human body’s components. He looked over the preteen males components until his eyes felt like they were gonna fall out of his head. Next, he took a beaker and pricked his finger, letting it bleed into the container. Now let’s see… that was an ounce. He looked at the components again and did the math. Simple. That’s what he should have give or take a little bit. So he went to another machine, one meant to analyze the component of whatever it’s presented with. It analyzed it. Processed it. And produced the results.

“No way…” he looked at it “There’s a complete lack of plasma.”

He banged his fist on the machine “Dad and Gaz had that weird star when I checked! What’s with me?! Why is my body missing the components to show that weird glowing-“

Wait. He looked at the ring on his finger remembering when it was created. No way. He took the soul gem out of ring form, and replaced the blood sample on the machine with it. Analyzing. Processing.

All the plasma he was missing was right there in the soul gem.

He grabbed the results looking them over and over and over. What had happened? How had he-

“You’re up awfully late.” Kyuubey said “Shouldn’t you be getting rest?”

Dib stormed up to Kyuubey shoving the results in his face.

“Explain this!”

“Explain what?” Kyuubey asked innocently.

“Don’t play dumb! You took something out of my body!”

“Oh, that.” Kyuubey sighed “I don’t know why you’d go about this for something as simple as curiosity. You can live perfectly contentedly without knowing.”

“Don’t give me that! Tell me what you did!”

“You’re not going to like it…” Kyuubey warned “Nobody does.”

“Then tell me what you took out!” He demanded, sick of the creatures seeming desire to give him anything but the answers.

“I took you out.”

… Huh? That was so nonsensical. What was he even saying?

“Are you playing with me? You didn’t take me out! I’m in my body right now!”

“Well, currently you’re able to control your body because you’re close to it. However if you were taken away you’d lose control. You’re not in it right now. You’re in your soul gem.”

That was such a non answer! Why would he be in his soul- Wait. No…

He looked at the gem and it’s glimmering blue aura. The dazzling light that he could see in everyone when using his power, but didn’t show up when he looked at himself. The missing components of his body. His soul gem.

His soul.

“You ripped my soul out of my body?!”

“This again… everyone throws a fit about the same thing.” Kyuubey made an undignified sigh like Dib just yelled at him for dropping a plate “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is!” Dib shouted, placing down the gem to pin Kyuubeys sides with his arms “Why would you do something like that?!”

“You didn’t think I’d let you fight witches in those fragile human bodies do you? It’s impossible. You’d die in a matter of seconds. Here’s an example.”

Kyuubey hopped out from Dibs arms and to the soul gem placing his paw on it. Dib was about to shout at him to get away from that but then a pain coursed through him. A wretched pain going into his stomach, and out the back, that bought him to his knees, then the floor, clutching the area and screaming in pain. It was so much worse than when his soul gem was created. He felt like he was dying.

“What... are… you- guugh!” He could hardly get out words properly with the pain coursing through him “What are you… doing?!”

He gasped out when he finished the sentence. In fact all his breaths were desperate gasps as hot tears welled up in his eyes.

“I’m showing you the pain you were spared by having your soul separated. When the irken stabbed you, remember?” Kyuubey said “If you felt this kind of pain with every blow it’d be impossible for you to fight witches. Worse, you could bleed out or go into shock. With the soul gem system, you only have to worry about protecting that area. As long as nothing damages it, you’re invincible. Why, you’re practically a killing machine!”

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” He screeched out as the pain intensified and he swore he was about to bleed out on the ground.

Kyuubey honored the request, and Dib felt that imaginary stab wound turn into nothing more than a phantom pain. He stood up, his legs giving little wobbles and shakes and snatched his soul back from the creature, falling back down to his knees and clutching it to his chest.

He sat in silence for a long time, waiting for Kyuubey to say anything, some kind of acknowledgement of what he had done, the horrible violation he committed on him. But nothing. It was Dibs job to break the silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“You didn’t ask.”

“That’s your excuse?!” He yelled “This is messed up! I’m… I’m not even human anymore! I’m just a zombie! How could you do this to me?!”

“You agreed to a contract in exchange for one wish.” Kyuubey said “That wish has come true hasn’t it?”

Dib looked at his soul gem. At the reflection of himself- no not himself, but his empty shell- looking back.

“... I can’t be killed unless the soul gem is damaged?”

“Nope! You could get stabbed through the heart or have your brains blown out, get reduced to a pile of pulp… and all you’d have to do is use your magic to heal and keep going. It’s far more efficient than having a weak human body.”

Dib closed his eyes. Whatever. He was saving people. He managed to get people after Zim. He was stopping witches. Dad said he was wrong to him and _hugged_ him ( ~~no he hugged his empty shell~~ )

He could deal with not having a soul anymore.


End file.
